Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Goodbye 2013

It's been so long since I've written in this space that it feels a bit awkward to be here. In February this space will be ten years old. Ten years of blogging! It seems that I have taken an unexpected hiatus from blogging as my last post was December 21, 2012 but I hope to start writing more often in 2014.

To catch you up, from June 2012-April 2013, I was in Tennessee taking care of my mother. This time was the hardest of my life. I regret not blogging during that time but my wi-fi was iffy and finding time to sit and write at the Savannah, TN McD's was just impossible.

After spending ten months away from my husband and sons I came home in June and life was just unsettled. I was a stranger in my own home and life had moved on for my family while I felt as though I were frozen. My mother passed away July 30 and with that came a lot of guilt. She was in a nursing home, alone, and for a while I struggled with a lot of guilt as my last real life vision of her was her begging me not to leave her there. It hurts to write that but at this point I had taken care of her as long as I could by myself. I had no help and she made just enough money to not qualify for any kind of assistance and out of pocket home health care is ridiculously expensive. Here's a wake up call for you all, someone that retires at $20,000 a year pays the same Medicare premium as someone that retires at $80,000. Two vastly different incomes but $20,000 is viewed as equal to $80,000. Insanity!

Much of August, September and October were a fog for me. I struggled to fit in here at home, to find a bit of my life before Tennessee and finally after turning 50 in October I realized that it's time to build a new reality. To take the wisdom of my 50 years, successes and failures, and move on.

I'm happy to tell 2013 goodbye and to not let the door hit it on the way out. I'm excited to welcome 2014 and it's 365 clean slates. My new life motto is "Every day a new beginning". I want each day to be fresh and positive. The failures and struggles of the previous day, while not forgotten, I will refuse to dwell on them. Every day is a new chance. An opportunity to learn, to be better, to take what was learned the day before either by success or failure and be better.

One of my guidelines for 2014 is to always try to be the better person. To always be kind and generous and to not hold bitterness in my heart.

Another goal is to work my way through my WIP pile. It's a bit out of control. I say this every year but this year I really mean it!

I also want to improve my sewing skills and my crochet skills. I want to learn to knit socks(I say that every year too!), and work on my picture taking skills. I want to get back to blogging. I started writing in this space ten years ago just to have a place to write every day, time to bring this full circle and start writing again. I didn't know how much I had missed it or what writing here meant to me, until I started writing this post, ok, the one before it that blogger ate! Yes, these words are a do over but that's ok, keepin' it real!

And finally, I hope to make it to Paris, the one in France, not Texas or Tennessee, before December 31, 2014.

So goodbye 2013. 2014, bring it! I've got this!

Happy New Year to you all!!!


Giovanna said...

I'm sorry you've had such a hard year, and I hope that 2014 will be much better for you. It's good to see you blog again, and I hope to read you again regularly :-)

Katrina said...

Big hugs!!!! I can't imagine how difficult this year was for you. Yay for new beginnings, hoping 2014 is an awesome year :-)!!!!!

Margaret said...

Happy New Year, Melissa! I know 2013 was a tough one for you in so many ways. Here's to a fantastic, happy, healthy 2014 for you and your family. May you finish all those WIPs and enjoy all the crafty goodness!

Anna van Schurman said...

I look forward to your being back. I remember finding your blog early on, and I've always looked forward to reading what you write. Best wishes for 2014!

Sharon said...

Happy New Year to you dear sister friend, this year will be better. Filled with new Beginnings. How wonderful to see you blogging again. xoxoxoxoxox

Sharon said...

2013 totally sucked. But there is hope that 2014 is going to be a great year. I wish you and your family a very Happy New Year!

Sonda said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. That sounds like such a rough time. I can't imagine what it was to come home after being gone for so many months and I can see why it would be hard. I sure hope 2014 is a fabulous year for you!

Carol said...

Melissa, I am so sorry for your loss and can relate to your struggle. I lost my Dad on July 5 and had to place my Mom in a nursing home as we're not capable of caring for her due to her dementia. Knitting socks is on my bucket list!! Maybe we can SAL together someday. Paris is also on my bucket list! :)